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Beer Quotes
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in
the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then
I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up
in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank
Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend
time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemingway
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity
that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
-- Ross
Levy
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency
to thank her.
--W.C.
Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--Tee
Mans
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny
Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get
wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal
obotomy.
--Tom
Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
--
Brian O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some
nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I
bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
behind.
--Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it
from urine.
--David Moulton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good.
Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said,
"Whoa - too
much light."
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
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