debut article
Other Articles:
May 20
Well, it's been two weeks so it must be that
time again. Sit back and relax as I
feel forced to ram my unsolicited, biased, and warped points of view down your
throat.
College hoops -
This whole Bobby Knight saga is getting out of hand. You would think he was the
President of the United States with all of the press and controversy that
surrounds him. He's a basket ball coach - no more, no less. And a damn good one.
How easy do you think it is to get a team made up of 90% slow, uncoordinated,
white ( is that redundant ? ) boys to win as many games as he has ? And if
you had the job of disciplining and spending most of your day with 12 teenagers,
I'm sure you would feel the need to scream and threaten on occasion as well. I
got bored with this man's act years ago. But the fact remains that he is a good
coach, his players graduate, and a 19 year old kid needs a good kick in the ass
every now and then. So please. let this rest. Finally.
Pro hoops -
The NBA draft is just around the corner so I'll go out on a limb and make a few
predictions.
Best player and #1 pick - Kenyon Martin. I hope
you had the pleasure of seeing
him dominate Depaul this past year. Unbelievable. He can do it all on both ends
of the court. He could have broken both legs and I would still grab him with the
top pick. This is a no brainer. Then again, the one team (Clippers) capable of
screwing this up MIGHT END UP WITH the first pick. Let's wait and see.
Biggest bust - Mateen Cleaves. No J and
no speed. This draft will be the last
time you hear about this guy
Most likely to draft a non African- American - Utah. And if they do draft one,
he'll play like a white guy
Biggest surprise - Stromile Swift. Regardless of where he is picked, he will be
a better player than the team picking him could have ever expected.
What are they thinking ?
Part 1 - Three guys you've never heard of , Jerome Moiso, JaRon Rush , and
Jason Kapono, could only lead UCLA to a 21 -12 record (18-12 against division
one teams). Now they think their ready for the NBA. Better work on conquering
the Gonzaga's and Colorado State's - both losses - of the world before
taking
on the Lakers and Heat. Can you say DNP ?
Part 2 - Hey Kobe. Say these words slowly. One after the other. " 21 years
old.
Famous. Rich. Professional athlete. Marriage " What's wrong with this
picture ?
College football -
AP - Penn State quarterback Rashard Casey and a high school teammate beat an
off-duty police officer until he was unconscious
because the white officer was at a bar with a black woman, police said Monday.
CE - If Rashard is suspended for the year ( he won't be), than PSU will finish
with 7 wins instead of it's usual 8. No biggie. This is a half ass team with or
without him. With that said, I guess God ( Joe Pa ) and his team of angels
really aren't any different from the rest of the football world. Penn State and
it's legion of dim witted, unoriginal, and unrealistic fans absolutely
disgust me. This is just another chance for me to terrorize them. Of course,
they'll come up with some lame ass excuse as to why Rashard is innocent. And Joe
Pa will give him a second chance, proving to his critics that he isn't any
different than other coaches. This was a team with 4 defensive draft picks
( 1 & 2 overall ) out of the first 105 and still surrendered 18.5
points a game. Not to mention BLOWING the #1 ranking by ,in typical PSU fashion,
losing the last three games of the season. Great coaching, Joe. You and your
group of blue and white fairies are overrated. State hasn't done a damn thing
since '94. And Nebraska would have kicked your ass that year. When is the
last time this team won a big game in November ? I expect feedback from all you
PSU fans to be plenty. Bring it on. I'm gonna be breaking your $%#@'s all
year. This is only the beginning.
Pro hoops -
My prediction on the 76er's was way off. Let the criticism begin. Losing 4-2
without your starting point guard to an established veteran team, however,
is nothing to be ashamed about. I'd like to take a minute to address all of the
constant criticism Allen Iverson receives for being a " thug ".
After losing game 6 to the Pacers, Allen responded by: Shedding tears because he
was so upset that the Sixers didn't win ( when is the last time you saw that at
the pro level ? ) Publicly admitting that the Pacers were simply a better team stating that he
needed to improve as a player if the 76ers are to ever be as good as Indiana.
If those are the makings of a thug, than I'll take 12 of them on my team any
day. Thank you, 76ers, for a great season.
Question of the day -
Why do golf shoes have spikes ? Is that sudden stop at the 9th hole tough to
maneuver ?
And one more thing....
All single men ( especially Kobe ), STOP what you are doing and read this. YOU
HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said,
"Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? DaD : That happens in every
country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I
got married; and then it was too late."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying.
That's it for this week's column. Hopefully I offended or amused somebody. if
not, I'll try harder next time.
PEACE...
May 6, 2000
Hello all. Not a whole lot going on in the sports world (
baseball & hockey
suck, off season for football ) but surprisingly, the NBA playoffs have been
fairly entertaining so far. As I write, the first games of round two are set to
begin. So let's take a quick look back the first round series before we move on
to the conference semifinals...
Pacers/Bucks - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.... This actually ended up being a pretty
good series. Milwaukee won the games ( home ) it was supposed to win and
reverted back to it's true self by blowing game 5. No big deal. These teams
weren't playing for the championship - just an opportunity to be the 76ers next
victim.
Pistons/Heat - Normally this series would be as appealing
as an enema. Except
that for a brief moment the Pistons forgot that they sucked and actually started
talking %$#@ about how they were going to beat Miami. Three games later the
Pistons are on the golf course.
Raptors/Knicks - Any game with Vince Carter in it is worth watching. Although
the Raptors were swept, the Knicks (or any team) better hope they do not have
to face this team in the playoffs next year. You have to lose before you can
win. I'm betting the losing days are over for Toronto.
Lakers/Kings - Any true fan can appreciate this series. Superstars, fast paced
games, and the punk ass Lakers almost biting the bullet in the first round. As
far as pure entertainment is concerned, this was the best of the first round
series.
Sonics/Jazz - Who cares ? Wouldn't have minded seeing Karl Malone lose in the
first round so he could have something else to bitch about. At least when the
Jazz finally do lose (next series), we won't have to ever see Jeff Hornaceck
again.
Twolves/Blazers - This is the NBA. The team with the best horses wins.
Therefore, the Twolves get an early vacation.
Suns/Spurs - No Duncan... No dice.
76ers/Hornets - A game sooner than I predicted (without their starting point
guard for games 3 & 4 ), the Sixers knocked out the Hornets. Derrick Coleman has
yet to win a playoff series (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) AND Eddie Jones is off to
another team. Hope you enjoyed the playoffs Charlotte - it's going to be a while
until you see them again.
And now a quick preview of the 2nd round...
76ers/Pacers - I admit to being partial to my home team (Philly for my global
readers), but even in being objective I like the Sixers. They have youth, revenge - swept by Indy last year - , and a potentially fatigued Indianapolis
team on their hands. Indy had it's hands full with the Bucks, who can't hold the
76ers jock straps. Add that to Larry Brown out coaching Larry Bird, with Iverson
being the best player on the court, and I see a 4-2 Sixers win.
Heat/Knicks - The NBA should apologize to it's fan's for this one. This is the
4th year in a row we get to watch what these two teams describe as basketball.
Much like the last three years, each game will end with a 74-72 score and the
series will go the full seven games. Outside of Miami and New York, who gives a
%$#^ ?
Blazers/Jazz - Youth wins out in this one. Bye Bye mail man. See you and the
rest of your garbage team next year...
Lakers/Suns - Lakers in a sweep. Bet on it.
Hockey - Flyers win game 4 against Pittsburgh in the 5th OT. Greeeeaaaaat. 5
OT's to score a %$#^ing POINT. Second rate sport. Always will be.
Baseball - Randy Johnson is 7-0 and has the coolest nickname (BIG UNIT) in
sports. That's enough to make this sports page.
Miscellaneous - Just wanted to take a minute to respond to the feedback I
received from my first article.
Steve Weatherly and Kev - Thanks bro.
Brian S - Your a bitch. Before you got married you would have appreciated this
article. A wife, mortgage, and child later you turn into a punk. Next time I
see you I'm gonna beat your a@@.
RA - If you don't follow sports, and despise armchair management. you must be a
woman. This column is for men only. Go away...
Al H - I agree with all of your comments. However, unlike your prediction, the
Hornets showed their true colors and lost in 4.